The Republic of The Waiter is a colossal, pleasant nation, notable for its spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5.885 billion Waiterians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Spirituality, with Defense, Welfare, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while International Aid and Industry are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.6%.

The strong Waiterian economy, worth 235 trillion lire a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Pizza Delivery, and Gambling. Average income is 40,073 lire, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 241,525 per year while the poor average 2,990, a ratio of 80.8 to 1.

Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Waiter's national animal is the cobra, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

The Waiter is ranked 74,179^th in the world and 765^th in Suspicious for Highest Food Quality, scoring 27.98 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.